I Owe Myself An Apology

I owe myself an apology.

For all the times I promised to forgive myself, only to bring it up again later.

For clipping the wings of my own dreams before they even had a chance to take flight. For thinking so little of myself

at the very moments I should have been standing up for myself.

For the lies I swallowed

while starving for truth.

For believing that all the glass

I walked on as a child

was ever my fault.

For withholding from myself the same grace

and second chances

I so freely give others.

For allowing the world to convince me that my heart was both too much and not enough.

For all the days wasted pretending to be someone I hoped you would accept.

For not living my life more on my own terms, simply because I was afraid of making a mistake.

For punishing myself for far too long.

For believing love was bloody and painful,

and that I didn’t deserve better.

For every time I looked in the mirror

and hated who I saw.

I could sit here listing every reason and way I was wronged by others, but maybe more than anything, I owe myself an apology for not valuing this one, beautifully precious life of mine enough to know I’m worthy of greatness, the very best of everything.

And for that,

I am sorry.

- J. Raymond

- Unknown Artist