I Had Become Fluent In The Language of Obstruction

"I had become fluent in the language of obstruction: I could narrate every closed door, every wrong timing, every force that had ever worked against me. But I had no language for the times life had undoubtedly conspired in my favor.

In all sincerity, I hadn’t even been paying attention to those. Or worse — I had noticed them but I immediately blocked myself from fully receiving my blessings by looking for the catch. As in, “This is great… but what’s the catch?”

I’ve now since learned to have more compassion and patience for myself because a nervous system that grew up constantly bracing for trouble doesn’t immediately know what to do with unexpected goodness. It doesn’t trust it. It waits for it to be taken away.

But what if, without my say on the matter, there are times when I am also being held and supported by forces outside of my own control?

That’s what I mean when I say learn to trust in what you don’t know. To give yourself the opportunity to be held and supported by forces outside of your control.

That sometimes 'shit happens' — but grace happens too."

If you're currently facing the edge of your comfort zone and you genuinely have no clue what’s on the other side of a decision you're about to make, I wrote this one for you.

( ✍️ Jovanny Varela )

Excerpt from Gentle Reminder No 130: "On trust and the unknown and what happens when your body finally learns that it's safe to be held & supported"

Art : Elijah Jambalaya