Giving The Same Thing To Everyone Can Be Unfair, Since Each Person Has Different Needs

Giving the same thing to everyone can be unfair, since each person has different needs. Remember, fairness isn’t always about sameness, it’s about appropriateness.

When we give the same thing to everyone without considering their individual needs, we might actually create imbalance.

For example:

• A child struggling in math might need extra tutoring, while another might need more creative outlets.

• In relationships, one person might thrive on words of affirmation, while another needs acts of service.

True fairness recognizes that equality means everyone gets the same opportunity, but equity means each person gets what they specifically need to flourish.

It’s like giving everyone shoes—same size for all is “equal,” but giving each their own correct size is “fair.” When we give everyone the exact same thing without considering their differences, we often overlook an important truth: people have unique circumstances, capacities, and needs.

Here’s a deeper look at why same treatment ≠ fair treatment:

1. Equality vs. Equity

• Equality means giving everyone the same resources or treatment.

• Equity means giving each person the resources or support they need to reach the same outcome.

• Example: If two people are trying to see over a fence—one tall, one short—giving both the same size box only helps the tall person. Giving the shorter person a taller box helps them both see.

2. Needs Are Shaped by Context

• Life stage, health, personality, emotional capacity, past experiences, and current challenges all affect what a person truly needs.

• What feels generous or helpful to one person may be irrelevant—or even harmful—to another.

3. The Risks of “One-Size-Fits-All”

• It can unintentionally neglect those who need extra help.

• It can waste resources on those who don’t actually benefit from what’s given.

• It can breed resentment, because those with greater needs might feel unseen, and those with lesser needs might feel patronized.

4. Fairness Through Personalization

• Fairness often means taking the time to understand each person’s needs, strengths, and limitations.

• This applies in families, workplaces, friendships, education, and even spiritual communities.

• Personalization is not favoritism—it’s intentional support that meets each person where they are.

5. How This Works in Relationships

• Emotionally: Some people need more reassurance, others need more space.

• Practically: One person might need financial help, another might just need a listening ear.

• Spiritually: One person might thrive with direct encouragement, another with quiet prayer or Reiki energy sent their way.

Reiki can help you practice fairness while honoring different needs because it strengthens your ability to sense and respond to each person’s unique energy—rather than defaulting to “one-size-fits-all” giving.

Here’s how:

1. Intuitive awareness – Reiki quiets mental noise so you can tune into what someone truly needs, even if they can’t express it in words.

2. Energetic balance – It helps you recognize when you’re over-giving to one person or under-supporting another, restoring equilibrium.

3. Compassion without depletion – Reiki strengthens your own energy, so you can give appropriately without draining yourself.

4. Individualized energy sharing – Instead of sending the same Reiki flow to everyone, you can channel it differently depending on the person’s state—more grounding for someone anxious, more uplifting for someone sad.

5. Detachment from guilt – Reiki helps you release the pressure to “treat everyone exactly the same,” allowing you to give mindfully and fairly instead.

6. Clear energetic boundaries – By sensing when someone is taking too much or refusing what they need, you can adjust your approach without resentment.

Fairness isn’t about giving everyone the same—it’s about giving each person what helps them thrive.

Reiki supports this by helping you sense unique needs, balance your own energy, and offer compassion without exhaustion.

When you blend mindful giving with energetic awareness, you create relationships rooted in respect, balance, and genuine care—where no one is overlooked, and everyone is valued for who they are.