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Feeling Fractured?

An old emotional scar, that I was certain had healed, broke open unexpectedly yesterday. And as soon as it did, all of the old ghosts that haunted me at the time of my wounding came to pay me a l most unwelcome visit.

Shame.

Fear.

Guilt.

Despair.

They all arrived to have a graveyard picnic on my heart. It did not take long for me to fracture like a fancy dinner plate bouncing on a concrete patio.

While I was sitting there in pieces I found myself reciting the lines to this poem/prayer I wrote myself on the day when I first received that old scar.

If you are finding yourself a bit fractured today, I hope these words holds you for a bit you as they did me.

I love you.

***

Me: Hey God.

God: Hey My love,.

Me: I'm about to break.

God: Why do you think that is?

Me: Because life just keeps getting harder.

God: Then you need to become softer.

Me: Huh?

God: Here is the thing:

glass is hard

but it can shatter

easily when dropped

rock is hard

but it can be broken

quickly with a drill

gold is hard

but it can be melted

in a blazing fire

don't be so hard

that you break down so easily.

be soft

like wet clay

in the hands of a potter

be soft like

river water

in the summer

be soft like

the breeze through

a row of tall pines

all of those things

survive no matter what

happens to them

they endure because

they haven't built their

existence out of hard

materials

be soft with other people

don't break them

with your words

and don't let them

break you with theirs

be soft with yourself

your heart is

more marshmallow

than metal

your soul is wrapped

in the softest of fabrics

for a reason

the softer you become

the more you understand

how precious all life is

be more of cotton

than you are of concrete

~ love isn't cold granite

love is shapeless

love is like ocean water

gently passing through your toes

in a world where the hardness of diamonds

helps determine its worth

don't become one yourself

become so soft

that nothing can

break you

~ john roedel

{photo: Grace Madeline}


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