An old emotional scar, that I was certain had healed, broke open unexpectedly yesterday. And as soon as it did, all of the old ghosts that haunted me at the time of my wounding came to pay me a l most unwelcome visit.
Shame.
Fear.
Guilt.
Despair.
They all arrived to have a graveyard picnic on my heart. It did not take long for me to fracture like a fancy dinner plate bouncing on a concrete patio.
While I was sitting there in pieces I found myself reciting the lines to this poem/prayer I wrote myself on the day when I first received that old scar.
If you are finding yourself a bit fractured today, I hope these words holds you for a bit you as they did me.
I love you.
***
Me: Hey God.
God: Hey My love,.
Me: I'm about to break.
God: Why do you think that is?
Me: Because life just keeps getting harder.
God: Then you need to become softer.
Me: Huh?
God: Here is the thing:
glass is hard
but it can shatter
easily when dropped
rock is hard
but it can be broken
quickly with a drill
gold is hard
but it can be melted
in a blazing fire
don't be so hard
that you break down so easily.
be soft
like wet clay
in the hands of a potter
be soft like
river water
in the summer
be soft like
the breeze through
a row of tall pines
all of those things
survive no matter what
happens to them
they endure because
they haven't built their
existence out of hard
materials
be soft with other people
don't break them
with your words
and don't let them
break you with theirs
be soft with yourself
your heart is
more marshmallow
than metal
your soul is wrapped
in the softest of fabrics
for a reason
the softer you become
the more you understand
how precious all life is
be more of cotton
than you are of concrete
~ love isn't cold granite
love is shapeless
love is like ocean water
gently passing through your toes
in a world where the hardness of diamonds
helps determine its worth
don't become one yourself
become so soft
that nothing can
break you
~ john roedel
{photo: Grace Madeline}
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