Covid is Challenging

Covid is indeed challenging. Covid has brought me to my knees more than once and has caused me to cry out in pain on so many levels. This plague is not always the blessing I try to make it to be as I attempt to fill myself with gratitude for who and what is really important in my life, to grow in faith and trust in my higher power and to learn to embrace the deep seated fear that crawls into my life kicking my legs out from under me. I am learning to sit with myself and feel what needs to be felt. Since I was 4 years old I have learned to stuff down my feelings because it is easier to not deal with the emotions than to acknowledge them. I always kept busy so I could fool myself into thinking I had no time or need to give myself permission to feel whatever I was dealing with, in other words showing myself no love and respect. Emotions are fleeting, like a seesaw with joy on one end and utter despair on the other. I am a rockhead, I have chosen the difficult road again and again not trusting or listening to myself, mistakenly thinking my emotions were fact. Covid has made me realize that you can't heal what you don't feel and only when you give your self the patience, love, honor, integrity and safety you truly deserve can you release what no longer serves you and makes room for healthier mindsets and emotions to help you grow and thrive not just survive. I am grateful for everyone who reads this and believes that I do wholeheartedly love you. You are not alone and we are all in this journey together. Please feel free to reach out to me if you need support, love and a listening ear. Namaste!