In every narcissistic dynamic I was in, we were both expressing narcissistic tendencies and patterns taken on from our respective bloodlines.
Not one of us were ever a complete victim. Some of you may want to rethink your ideas of yourselves.
It rarely is that black and white.
Look at how you manipulate!
Look at how you react!
Look at how you speak,
especially of those who are not in the room. Are you still a victim or did you contribute to the dynamic?
I was surprised to find that all the women in my life was also abusive not just abused. Then and only then began the true healing as the victim mentality and self pity programs were hiding in my sentimentality and were intoxicated by my own ideas of love.
Having worked with 1000s of people the last decade, not one of them were ever a victim solely, they were cocreating the dynamic due to their wounds, through accountability these dynamics always shift, when accountability is lacking, the dynamic just repeats and repeats, usually in a lesser fashion as we always evolve, but still it repeats. When we say,
I got to clean my act up and be more conscious of my contributions to my relationships,
the way we experience LOVE changes from a very intoxicating perspective to a more sobering experience of love and relationships.
~Ulf-Begaes Haldorson Haukenes