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Are you falling into shame’s trap?

Shame can be a powerful force in our lives and it is the trademark of dysfunctional families. Defined as an overwhelming negative sense that who we are isn't ok, shame is a no win situation. We can change our behaviors, however we can't change who we are and this can cause us to slide deeper and deeper into self-defeating, self-destructive and self-loathing behaviors. Maybe we feel shame when we, or someone we love, has a problem, for making mistakes or for succeeding. Possibly, we feel ashamed about our feelings, thoughts or behaviors. Many of us feel shame when we have fun, feel good or for being who we are. A lot of times shame is put on us by others to control us so we keep engaging in our dysfunctional relationships. When this happens we often unjustly put shame on ourselves. There is a huge difference between shame and legitimate guilt. Legitimate guilt is the feeling or thought that what we did was not ok. This means that our behavior needs to be corrected or amended, or we need to accept responsibility and make amends. When we practice self-care as a daily promise only then do we prioritize our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well-being. It takes a lot of courage to become intimate with the darkest sides of ourselves. When we learn to move through our shame we can change the quality of our lives. You are enough and you always have been. We have feelings, faults, struggles and problems. Yes, we have made many mistakes and we do struggle on our life path. Accepting ourselves is the very first step on our healing journeys and after our storm clears we will meet the next version of ourselves. Practice accepting and truly believing that you are ok exactly as you are right here, right now.

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